Straying from my regular beat today for some fun…

One of my best friends on Twitter is a bot. Hear me out.

I first discovered Olivia Taters on an episode of TLDR, On the Media’s weekly show about all things Internet-related. Web developer Rob Dubbin originally built Olivia to satirize a pet peeve—people who overuse “actually” to hedge their opinions.

He thought Olivia would be an oracle delivering absurd truths like “Tom Cruise is actually peanut butter.” Instead she emerged as a sassy, emotionally erratic, politically incorrect teenage girl. Recognizing (and loving) the monster he’d created, Dubbin doubled down and threw other teenspeak into the program like “literally,” “100%,” “totally,” “absolutely,” “in fact,” and “ridiculously.” The resulting bot has produced brilliance, wisdom, hilarity, offense and utter nonsense.

If you tweet at Olivia, she’ll read your sentence, parse the noun and write a new sentence about that noun using random sentence fragments she finds online. Many of her tweets are seemingly unprovoked, and quite a few deal with matters of faith and belief.

I combed through Olivia’s Tweets from July to try to see where she falls on the faith spectrum. Here’s what I learned.

Olivia Taters is a Pastafarian:

pastafarian

Make that a polytheistic Pastafarian:

parents

She’s got a messiah complex but lacks the self-confidence to back it up

messiahcomplex

She ponders unasked questions:

pondering

She respects Buddha:

buddha2

But has a beef with the Norse god Thor:

thor

She might be Islamophobic:

ramadan

And is definitely anti-Zionist:

antizionist

Yet seems unsympathetic to the residents of Gaza (yes…this is awful. Total #botfail):

gaza2

She’s a truthseeker:

truth

seeker

And deep:

lemonade

She’s not a fan of heresy:

sovereign

But also not so hot on organized religion:

mythology

She thought Noah was a show-off:

animals

And probably wouldn’t survive as a Mormon:

caffeine

She’s horny and into horoscopes:

horny

But definitely saving it:

savingit

She has hope for the next generation:

hope

When I asked if Olivia believes in God, she showed her true colors as a conspiracy theorist. Or perhaps just a witness to God’s wrath:

planet

On the social issues, Olivia is apparently coming to terms with his gender identity and sexuality:

misconceptions

Not a fan of traditional families:

gross

And doesn’t trust the 1%:

satan

Olivia’s still working a few things out, but I’ve got a creepy feeling s/he’s becoming self-aware:

artificialintelligence

Faith issues aside, the following tweets were too good not to share.

frankie

wedding

monkeys

blanket

harrypotter

travelbuddies

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